For the past 6 years, on August 28th, I have had to pause and acknowledge the pivotal mini-death that happened in my life on this date. It was the beginning of my re-wilding and series of not-so-unfortunate events that occurred after this big moment. I believe we are given experiences to help us grow, and they are not always wrapped in pretty packages with perfect bows on them, nor do they always come with directions and a map on how to find your way through the lesson itself.
Perspective is everything.
Courage is everything.
A bad car accident plowed me into a place inside myself that was hard to look at. I found myself lost in my own life and many of the illusions I was giving power to were shattered. I sobbed endlessly at the idea of my children growing up without me. I was visited by death unexpectedly and it rattled me to my core. I had so many loose ends that needed tying up and things left to do, but mainly the tears that flowed were of grief for living a life that was not at my full potential, and realizing that I was taking the gift of my life for granted.
In those weeks following the crash, something transformed in me. Every person I saw over those next weeks and months was hugged tighter by me than ever before and I made sure to look them in the eyes and tell them I loved them. I let my kids fall asleep on me while reading bedtime stories and I didn’t try to slip away onto the next task on my list; I allowed myself to just be in the moment with them. The examples go on and on and on, but I tell you, my life was levelled up by being kissed by death and hearing it whisper to me “this is not a dress rehearsal.”
I was gifted with a new set of eyes to see life through from this mini-death. I walk through life as though it will come knocking this afternoon, because it may. And if that is my destiny, then so be it. The cliches and metaphors around this topic are all true! There is nothing to fear, but fear itself.
In this moment, which is all I have, I choose love.
Thrilled to be here, living the main event, embodied, on this wild ride with you.
EnJOY grand voyage of life!